Mixed memories

2010 was an interesting year. I heard less new (as in new out in the shops, not new-to-me) albums than has been the case in a decade, probably. I used to write about music for a rag whose pages now line my garden, so that somewhat compelled me - in the interests of 'objectivity' - to listen to as many of a year's records as possible. On reflection, it was really refreshing not to be (even more, not to FEEL) so overloaded, this year, by knowledge of what was out there. And of the records I did hear this year, a pleasingly disproportionate number came to feel inextricably intertwined with experiences which have helped reshape my thinking, ultimately for the better.

But enough o' my yakkin. I started today's post because I just purchased one of the records which soundtracked 2010 for me. 'Dethonator' by Dethonator is an independent production put together by people I met, so I can't really be 'objective' about it. On the other hand, publicly verifiable objectivity is somewhere between overrated and impossible when it comes to judging music. The most important thing is whether you are independent in your opinions. This can be a tough thing to judge in yourself, but it is what matters. I spent years agonising over whether others would PERCIEVE what I wrote about music as being unduly biased. Reflecting back, I wasted an inordinate amount of time trying to predict how the language I used would guide people's thoughts. I wanted to find the right formula to make this incredible disease that is language communicate my real feelings - my really feeling, indeed - for what I was hearing to any given reader. This is of course impossible. Different observers will take different impressions from the words, individual observers may even take different impressions at different times. I was always disinterested (not motivated by vested or monetary influence) but felt tainted by a 'scene' which is inherently interested. But I'm going on again.

At first I thought that my enthusiasm for 'Dethonator' must be related to my feelings for those who made it. Having been savagely critical (and primarily negative) regarding the band's previous work, I figured the nice part of me must just be trying to see the positive. Admittedly I did initially lambaste the band's chief composer, Adam Lineker, with snide comments running along the lines that typical music journalists might take ('It's just Arch Enemy with singing', that sort of lazy shorthand) but as I listened again and again out of politeness, I realised that I wanted to listen again and again. And again. And again. As modern metal albums go, there were few in 2010 which topped Dethonator. But that's just the opinion of someone who, for the first time in years, didn't even try to listen to everything that was out there. So why trust me?

That's enough for now. I already let this take to long.